Socks on a Train

Dear Julie,

I'm still in Chicago. I watched a pay-per-view movie in the hotel today: Breach. It was about spys and selling secrets, so I was expecting at least a little intrigue. The only real intrigue was how they managed to strip out all of the intrigue from an espionage-type movie. I mean really, I just don't get it. Where's the fun in that? But it was still better than last week's Snakes on a Plane.

I spent the day with Lois and her darling kidlettes yesterday. We had a great visit and it was so fun to get reacquainted with Jacob & Hannah. They are adorable and Lois is an amazing Mom. I took the Metra train out to the suburbs and it was quite pleasant. I grooved to my iPod the whole way. There was an older gentleman sitting across the aisle from me. He had long gray hair pulled into a bushy ponytail and was wearing Birkenstocks with what I suspected were hand-knitted socks. The pattern was very interesting and I tried to take a stealth picture of them, but he was just a little too far away. I had an internal debate going about whether or not to just ask him if I could take a picture of his interesting socks, but he was pretty granola and I was afraid I might actually trigger a conversation if I did that and mostly I just wanted to be solitary (listening to The Girl From Ipanema). He got off at the Lombard station and that was that.

Hey, I saw the pix of the slugs on your Knitting Savant blog. Too cool! Did you round up the kids to go have a look-see?

Tomorrow evening I'm off to Kankakee for the rest of the week. I've had several people who were aghast that I wasn't with our Mother on Mother's Day. Funny thing....these same people were completely nonplussed when I told them that she was at DisneyWorld with me.

Gotta go watch sports (Jazz @ Golden State, to be exact).

Love,
Karen

"I'm a Very Good Driver."

Dear Karen-

Just call me Raymond. A Knitting Savant, you say? I don't find that inflammatory, denigrating or derogatory, although it does imply that I have a certain lack of social skills. I'm not sure the comparison really holds true, though. For instance, I may know how many yards are in a skein of Trekking XXL sock yarn (459 yds, by the way), but if I were to drop all of my double-pointed needles on the floor, I would have no idea how many there were. I suppose I did take to knitting like a duck takes to water (who came up with that saying, anyway?), but I still hold that it is an acquired skill that anyone can learn - not an inherent talent. I just happen to have a very high interest in it, which leads me to keep trying new techniques - whereas the average casual knitter may simply never reach that level of obsession.

Now, I do have something to say about this whole Mike & Mike thing. I'm not opposed to watching or listening to them - it's just that I would be hopelessly lost since I don't follow enough sports to know what they are talking about...unless, however, they are actually light on sports conversation and have a liberal sprinkling of other random topics. But your comment that it wouldn't kill me to watch, because you watch me knit...well...I think you're comparing apples to oranges. Let me explain.

A more accurate comparison would be "it wouldn't kill you to watch a football game...after all, I watch you knit." Implying that I should watch Mike & Mike because you watch me knit would be like me telling you that you should listen to Brenda Dayne because I like college basketball. Listening to commentators implies that you have at least a basic knowledge of what they are talking about. Since I really only follow college basketball, I'm not sure how much pleasure I would derive from Mike & Mike.

Thoughts?

Love,
Julie

Mrs. Einstein, SoaP, Manicures, Interventions & ESPN

Dear Julie,

I can't believe you started out our correspondence with Albert Einstein. Talk about setting a high bar. Especially after my mental highlight from yesterday was watching the very bad, but aptly-named movie, Snakes on a Plane movie starring the talented Samuel L. Jackson. Anyway...I agree with your closing thought. I would have liked Mrs. Einstein, too. But honestly, don't you wonder if she truly loved Albert? Do you really think she would have let him leave the house with that hair if she truly loved him? I'm thinking she might have had some passive-agressive thing goin' on. "Albert, E might well equal MC(squared), but would you just empty the trash already?"

I went for a manicure last week. At a professional salon and everything. And I was immediately reminded why I do my own manicure. The polish job was simply dreadful. It looked like a crack-head with the shakes did my nails. So what was my response? Why, I paid the bill -- including a tip -- of course, and then went home that evening and re-did the polish myself. Why did I do that? Why didn't I walk up to the salon manager, hold up my grotesquely-polished nails and give her that you've-gotta-be-kiddin-me look? (Excuse me while i got beat myself up for being so spineless.) So...morale of the story: if you want something done right, just do it yourself. Unless it's cooking-related. Then by all means, outsource.

I described you yesterday as a Knitting Savant. Is that imflammatory, denigrating, or derogatory in any way? I hope not. You know I have high regard for your knitting prowess. (But if, on my next visit, I see a herd of naked sheep grazing peacefully in your backyard, I will be forced to do an intervention and you know it will be filmed and aired on that new reality Intervention show on A&E -- which I am delighted to report I have not added to my roster of must-see reality shows.)

I know this holds no interest for you, but Mike & Mike in the Morning moved into their new studio on ESPN Radio/ESPN2 this morning. It's so weird not to see them in a cramped space with cardboard cutouts & various knick-knacks strewn about the studio. You know that I wake up with them every morning. I think you would like them if you would only try them (a la Green Eggs & Ham). It wouldn't kill you to watch them just once, would it? After all, I watch you knit.

Have a good day, Chicken.

Love you.
Karen

P.S. - I did not dream about snakes OR planes last night.